My cats speak. I know, I know, every cat owner talks to their cats, but my situation is a bit unique, because even strangers recognize what my cats have to say. They aren’t ready to give a speech or host an A.M. radio program, but they can keep up with most young toddlers. (Yes, No, Treats, Bad, Help, Thank You, Now, Water.)
My little boy cat, Flash
It always takes people by surprise the first time. They sputter, laugh, and then tell me, “Oh man, that was crazy! For a second I thought your cat was talking.”
I don’t explain, for the same reason I don’t film them– when someone first notices that my cats are accurately and consistently replying to my questions, they want to test them like lab rats.
But Flash and Perdita aren’t show cats, my own personal trophies, or objects of science. As far as I’m concerned, they are family, adults, and sentient individuals.
Of course, family tortures family, so whenever my brothers come over, they make a point to force my cats into confusing conversations, trying to trick Perdita or Flash into using the wrong word.
They have also learned to teach my cats new words. My ever-practical, ever-responsible younger brother taught my cats to say his name. He wanted them to know they could call him, or wake him up, if they needed him. My goofy baby brother taught them the word and concept, “Mine”. He’s the sort of guy who buys a 1-year-old a drum set.
One morning, I woke up way too early and climbed groggily out of bed. My older cat, Perdita, was in the window. I’m not a morning person and everything seemed greenish and foggy as I brewed my coffee. I finally decided the light from the outside was bothering me so I told Perdita to close the curtains.
Dave’s lovely cat, Perdita
Unsurprisingly, she refused. She rarely does anything on the first asking if someone other than her beloved Dave is asking.
Annoyed, I started walking to the window to close the curtain around her when she suddenly said, clear as day, “HORSE!”.
I stopped in my tracks, rubbed my eyes, tightened my robe, and said, “What?”
“HOOOORRRRSSSE!” she meowled.
As far as I could remember, I had never used the word horse in her presence. It was 5am and before my coffee, so at that moment, I could barely remember what a horse was. I figured my brother had taught her another useless word and made a mental note to shout at him later, but as I reached around her to close the curtain, I saw…
a horse.
A stray horse. In an apartment complex parking lot. At 5am in the morning. In Orange County, California.
It looked something like this, but less organized. Source: http://www.theboilover.com/2009/10/parking-pickle/
The moment was so surreal that I actually looked around the room more carefully to see if I was dreaming. I finally decided to wake Dave up, just to be sure.
“Hey, honey,” I said as I shook him awake, “Perdita just said horse, and I looked out the window and guess what I saw?”
“Ummm, a horse?” Dave responded in the middle of a yawn.
“Yes! Can you believe it?!”
“Of course,” he grumbled, missing the point entirely, “My cat doesn’t lie.”
__________________________________________
Daily Post: Whoa! What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had? http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/daily-prompt-surreal/
This is probably not the most surrealistic experience I’ve ever had, but something about the phrasing of the prompt, (maybe the use of the word “Whoa!”) reminded me of this particularly odd moment. So what about you? Do your pets speak? Do horses hang out outside your bedroom window? Are you a morning person?
That’s pretty awesome! My cat probably tries to speak but usually her glares speak for those meows. And no, no horses hang outside my bedroom window…my city is definitely not as amazing as yours..haha! The only time I can see a horse roaming the streets is if the RCMP or the police decide to take their horses out for patrol…
I think most cats decide that if they can get away with glaring and demanding meows, then why bother learning words? Just like kids, actually, haha!
Honestly, I’ve never seen a horse out in my little area of suburbia before or after, but there’s a day for everything, I suppose. 
Oh, I forget your police get to take horses out if they want to– I can’t imagine an american cop on a horse for some reason…. 
Its on very rare occasion. Used to be near where my college was and its near where their stables are. Since I don`t work or study in that area, I don`t see it often anymore.
I’m glad horses don’t hang out near my house. Bobcats, panthers and the like are enough for me and the dogs.
Bobcats and panthers?! Yikes. I never see those, though every once in awhile there’s a stray coyote running around….
Thanks for reading!
Lol, if a horse tried to hang out at my house Morgan would have his head and ask questions later. (If she’d even bother to ask) Cats! Gotta love ‘em.
haha!
Oh yes, cats are amazing. Each one with their own strangely perfect personality. 
Ahhhhh I love this Rara..I do have horses but my cat don’t talk, he just eats and sleeps
You have horses? Ah, your cat sounds like he lives the good cat life. I always tell Dave our cats have it hard because we expect them to talk for the things they need, haha.
Yes 3 horses, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 10 cows, 4 chickens LOL
Amazing! You have your own farm.
Yep we do..live on a 24acre block
I’m thinking we need to teach Perdita and Flash to say “hugs.” What do you think Rara?
That would be wonderful! Although usually when I say “hugs”, I come after them to squeeze them and pick them up so they probably associate “hugs” with… “attack!!!”.
It’d make for a great B4Peace ad, though. The internet loves cats, after all. 
Whoa! I can’t believe your cats actually talk! You’ve got some pretty smart cats, she taught herself a word
I might see if they’d be willing to put on a little show for my blog. I really work off the idea that I won’t force them, or trick them, but hey, maybe asking will work,
Like most cats, they’re incredibly vain after all. 
I’m still unsure how she learned that word, let alone how to associate it with an animal, but I’m betting my little brother sat in the corner with her and showed her youtube videos and said it on repeat– he probably thought it’d be funny if she said horse instead of water. Baby bro denies it, but I’ve know him long enough to be suspicious.
I love it… “My cat doesn’t lie.” Bahahah! My cats talk a lot…but they don’t enunciate very well.
haha, yep, and the offense in his tone was classic, haha! Awww, yay for cat owners who understand the difficulties of cat speech,
!
what was the horse doing?
It turns out it was a present for a girl who lived in our complex, and they brought it over for them to meet. The horse went to go live with the girls’ parents, though, since obviously there are no stables in apartments.
It caused a bit of a stir, but the horse seemed pretty chill. Not worried at all about the odd circumstances. 
My cats have different meows when they want something and I can understand each one. They may not exactly say the word but I know what they want or see.
Yep, cats are smart! People always ask how I trained them and it was really simple, actually… because they already understand that different sounds mean different things, that different instances and objects have different names, etc. Once someone understands that, they can understand basic language.
Thanks for reading, Jackie! 
Heehee, because there is never enough chatter about kitties on the internet!
One of my two cats is super quiet and really doesn’t have much to say beyond the occasional “roof” because she sometimes thinks she is a dog. My other cat and I can have full on conversations though – very reminiscent of the “Dude.” “Dude.” “Dude.” “Dude” scene from the movie Baseketball.
Haha, yes, the Internet is basically cat-land.
I love it– a woof-ing cat, and a dude-ing cat– what a lovely pair! 
Great post – what a way to start my morning! Thank you
haha,
Thanks!
What amazing cats! My cat says hello, well it sounds like it anyway. And she has a purr that also sounds like she’s miss-firing a cylinder. But I love her. Oh, and she farts, a lot.
Haha, well, she sounds fabulous.
I love super-powered purrs, it’s awesome! Dave’s cat grew up around other animals and didn’t learn how to purr till we got Flash. haha! (Though seriously, have you tried switching her to a food with higher protein? I know cats dislike change, but the farting usually happens because of too much grain in their diet.)
She has allergies to high protein foods, plus she’s getting old. I think that comes to all of us when we get older.
awww, I love old cats almost as much as I love brand new kitties. Farting and all, haha!
My cat was quite the little human himself, lol. And he definitely spoke too. It’s so cool hearing about other peoples’ cats!
I enjoy it too!
I always feel bad for the non-cat-lovers, though… they’re missing out on all the fun! 
Thanks for reading! 
Hahaha, this is hilARIOUS!
I love your cats
Lorna xx
I ride and I love horses, pity they can’t swim that far though..I’d have him xx
haha, I think he found a happy home… he just came to visit for the day. I’ve always been a bit afraid of horses, especially since they constantly try to eat my favorite coats, but I did learn to ride them… which was actually a lot more fun than I expected!
Riding in an open field, galloping up hill, wind in the hair, sun on your back, at one with the animal – one of the better feelings in this world to experience
Nice that he found a home 
I have always known that some cats have a 6th sense and see things that we don’t see or hear things before they make a noise etc… but I’m puzzled as to how they can produce an understandable sound, I never got more than a meow, purr, hiss or yelp from mine – I hope you can film them
I definitely agree about the 6th sense!
For the sounds, it started with the words that fit easily into their voice spectrum– like water, no, you-alright, now. We worked a lot harder on “yes”, and “thank you”… and it does sound like a human with a speech impediment, but a human nonetheless. There’s a particularly embarrassing moment in our family history where I was giving them a bath and they yelled for help. Our neighbor called the police because they thought we were hurting children. I had to bathe the cats again to prove that it was them, haha! 
Though I don’t know how “horse” worked out. It’s usually a word that I would tell someone not to bother trying to teach them because it requires a lot of short sounds– but Perdita aced it that day. It’s a mystery! 
It would be interesting to know if other cat owners had experienced this… I will ask around but I think something rare is going on in your household… are you a very spiritual person, are there psychic vibes or do you just spend a lot of time with them in a motherly way ? Anyway it’s amazing
I’ve heard of some cat owners with cats that say “hello” or “no” or “yes”– some have even commented on this post, but I’ve never seen a cat other than mine say anything outside that. Of course, I don’t know if any other cat owners would sit down and put their cats in “school” like I did, haha! I do spend a lot of time with my cats, and Dave is always home with them– we really do treat them like family. They help us make any big decisions. We’re spiritual in a way, I call it Intuu… and that does seem to make it easier to get along with animals in general. https://rarasaur.wordpress.com/2012/11/09/im-a-little-bit-intuu-youre-a-little-bit-too/
hehe. Men!
haha, right?!
I just returned from staying with my cousin. The others kid him about having a talking cat. But – because I had one in my past, I knew how to communicate with the talking cat …. so Charlie and I bonded.
awww, that’s so great! Talking cats need all the friends they can get because they confuse most people.
Your cats could be on Twitter
They would probably get more followers than me 
haha, man. If cats could tweet, they’d have more followers than anyone. The internet loves cats!
Neither cat can write/type or read… but Flash is quite the bookworm– if you read to him. I almost named him Kipling because the only thing that would stop his meowing when we first rescued him was reading aloud from Kipling. He’ll still sit down at your feet if you pick it up from the shelf. Of course, once it comes out of the shelf, you’re committed– if you don’t finish the book for him, he’ll meow until you really really regret not finishing, haha! 
Well, that is just awesome!
Made my morning. Absolutely ! My cats are of the quiet nature and rarely even meow let alone talk. I feel a bit cheated I must admit. As for the horse—-I usually have deer including Doe Re Mi who has a bum leg, Phil the Pheasant and several squirrelly squirrels who raid my bird feeders but no horse. I would love a horse…..
Oh my goodness, the view outside your window sounds like a Disney movie! How wonderful!
I’m glad the story brightened your day a bit! And don’t feel too cheated– sometimes the talking can be really eerie! 
Oh, I have conversations with my kitty all the time. Sometimes, it’s even nonverbal. Ill exchange a glance with him, and he’ll open his mouth like he’s about to meow, but no sound comes out. …He also likes to announce his bathroom trips. He gets that from me.
haha! Oh, I love cats– they’re all so communicative, even the quiet ones. It’s funny what habits they really do pick up from us!
Just too awesome. Love!
I am not surprised — I think cats are capable of much more thanj they show us. THey just don’t choose to show off. WIsh I could meet your cats!
Anytime you’re in Orange County, stop on by,
And yes, I’m constantly surprised by the range and versatility of the cat mind! 
It’s not just that your cats talk, but the exchange is also hilarious. Thank you for yet another gem from your life.
I had a friend who had talking cats. One morning when we came in from a night of celebrating, my friend’s cousin was sick. She kept dry heaving and we tried to sleep through it. Then one of my friend’s cats starting asking, “you alright?” and circled around her. We did the blink look blink thing. The cat asked repeatedly, “you awe rye?” until her cousin answered, “noooooo”. The cat was like “awwwww” and tried to curl up with her.
Haha, yep, just another day with Dave.
I love your story! That’s how my cat-talking cats got started too! It was “you alright?” and “awww”… and then “no”… and then they realized that I’d drop whatever I was doing to get them Brand New Water if they said “water”… and years later, they have a pretty good working vocabulary. 
I’m glad someone else has experienced chitchatty kitties! 
I just might! I wrote up a training guide years ago, to also explain how to get kitties to use the toilet. Now you can just buy an easy kit at the petstore, though, so I didn’t seem relevant. There’s probably info in there about how to get cats to speak, though… I’ll dig it up!
Oh please do. I’d like to read up on that
If you don’t find it, maybe you can write one.
My dog used to talk/act all the time and you’d always know exactly what he wanted
I’m not a morning person at all! If I could, I would do shift work where I could work from after midday into the evening
I’m lucky that I really don’t start till 9:30am. Any earlier than that, and I’m groggy and confused. I’ve never met a talking dog, but I believe it– animals are amaaaazing!!
Ok, maybe he doesn’t speak per se, but his barking has different tones. Like if the rubbish truck comes by it’s one tone and if it’s people walking by then it’s another. And like his hungry tone is different to his “I’m so excited to see you” tone
So he speaks, but he just doesn’t speak English… that makes sense.
He’s a Chinese dog! We’ve never spoken to him in English before
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My cat doesn’t pronounce words but she definitely talks. People will know if her sound means “yes” or “no”. She has different meows for when she’s feels bored, ignored, annoyed, etc.
Oh, so sweet!! I love it when cats can do that. They’re definitely talking, just not quite any human language!
Great punchline!
I bet your cats have a larger vocabulary than you suspect. After all, they’re pretty aloof and wouldn’t talk much anyway…
Thank you!! And, I agree with you. I always tell Dave that when we’re out, they’re probably sitting there chatting about Obamacare and weather patterns in the South of France. Then we get home, and it’s all… treats, treats, treats.
Awesome story! Love your attitude of treating your cats like adults. My dog wants to be treated like a baby, so I indulge him – he rolls up into a tight ball on my feet or begs to have his belly rubbed and tries to lick my face. And he doesn’t speak at all, but he understands everything we say to him. Not just single words, a lot of dogs can do that, but we speak to him in full sentences and he always gets it.